I'm always so back and forth. Twisting thoughts between the good and the bad and back and forth. Bret once said that he could think himself into or out of anything and the hard part was not thinking himself one way or the other. Everything is fine, and I'm lucky to have everything I have. Or I'm amazed with myself for digging myself into the holes I dig myself into and can't understand for the life of me how silly I am and how I work.

I had a discussion the other night about trying. I really do believe that most of us are trying as hard as we can, and yet when I look at what I do and how I do things, I don't know if that is really true. Do I try as hard as I can? I'm so quick to give up, so ready to turn my back, how can that be trying? Maybe (absolutely) I'm hypocritical, maybe I give others more room than I give myself, or maybe I'm trying, and I just don't see it.

I keep trying to see things as okay, I keep trying and maybe someday I'll really see it that way.