At the end of the year no matter how focused I am on the present, it's hard not to look back. When I look back I'm amazed at the changes this year. It's been a hell of a year, I was pushed in ways that I would have never thought I would be able to deal with, but I did deal with it.

When I get to this point, the end of the year it seems like I'm always thinking the same thing; I wish I hadn't hurt anyone, I wish I hadn't disappointed anyone, I would have liked to be better at everything. But here I am. I am going to keep trying. Like always I lost and gained in the year and it's always sad to lose anything, especially things that are so important to me. Nothing ever replaces the old, or covers it up, it's just change I suppose. I'm sorry to anyone I've hurt or disappointed. I'm happy that I've found so many friends around the world this year.

Everything seems upside down and shaken up, but I know that no matter what happens, it will all be okay. I've seen it happen, we've all seen it happen. It is all okay. it's just change.

2009 photos will be here.

Enjoy,
C